I Thot I Saw a Puddy Cat & Other Hallucinations

I just got off a 36 hour shift this morning and of course I caught the expected late call so it was actually around 36.5 hours of zombie performances. I vaguely remember lying down sometime around 4:00 in the morning a day or two ago, but it was short lived. Working off of a couple hours sleep for days on end was okay when I was 25, but at 55, it isn't quite as much fun. Well, not until the sleep deprived giggles take hold.

The shift was full of the usual patrons and I hitched my drawers up so many times to adjust for the lifting, that I do believe I have the equivalent of a rug burn on my butt.

I just love the elderly patients. They make me laugh more than any other group. Some of them are so surprising with their continued enthusiasm for living. Doesn't matter if they don't have any teeth left, they'll still smile with their whole face if necessary.

We were getting ready to load a gentleman yesterday after his discharge from the hospital. He was lying there nearly catotonic as we were getting things situated, but I talked to him anyway explaining all that we were doing. As we were getting ready for the old heave-ho I said, "Okay, are you ready? I'm going to climb up on the bed with you." He turned his head and looked straight at me grinning, while his feeble little voice replied, "Oh, boy, oh boy, oh boy!" The nurse in the room busted out laughing and said that was more than he had said the whole time he was there. I love that I can bring out the best in people sometimes. haha.

The most challenging patients are always those who are not just high on life. The happy ones make for a laugh or two. Especially when they get on a roll to explain something to you. "Like, like, uh, wait. Like, I need to tell you sumpin', Lady...uh...what?" As long as I can jump aside fast enough to save the shoes from their recent lunch, I really don't mind them at all.

Right now however, I have to go teach a class so I better go get ready to mold more little minds. Just as soon as I can figure out where I put my shoes. And underwear {pat, pat}...yep, got 'em.

To be, or not to be...

I feel I need to explain the picture up above as well as the Murphy title. I know that many people adopt the saying that 'If I didn't have bad luck, I wouldn't have any at all'. In my particular case, my life is indeed a comedy of errors. It began at birth and it will more than likely continue on until the fat lady is singing her heart out. I was born in a little shack of a house with only my mother and the flies on the walls for company, so you see I am quite sincere in that statement.

The Money Pit

Since January 1st, my furnace has gone out twice (no problem found each $75 visit from the repairman); the well pump stopped working and it cost me another $70 for them to tell me it had lost it's prime (had the entire unit replaced last year for $900- so imagine my surprise when it quit); my large upright freezer quit costing hundreds of dollars in lost food; the water pipes in the walls of the pool house busted even though I had turned off the water and drained the lines (discovered that the shut off valve has a leak and water remained in the pipes);

{deep inhalation as we continue}

the control valve on top of the pool's sand filter cracked open and I lost not only water out of the pool, but flooded the pool's pump house; someone stepped on my vacuum hose for the pool and broke the connectors; turned on the electrical breakers for the electricity in the building out back to hear a loud pop, then smoke exiting the breaker box; the pipes to the outside spigot ruptured in the garage (more flooding) and ran the well dry before I could discover it;

{whew}

the vacuum cleaner died; a huge tree-sized limb fell in the front yard out into the road necessitating the use of power equipment, but the chain saw had been run dry by my loving son the last time used and I had to have it serviced to include a new chain before getting the thing cut up- used a reciprocating saw with 300 ft of extension cords to run the dang thing so I could at least get the stuff in the road cut up; what started out as a sinus infection the first week of the new year turned into bronchitis, and ended with laryngitis-much to the delight of those around me-but then it triggered a bout of autoimmune inflammation with a visit to a third and final doctor for more steroids; the toilet in my bathroom started leaking-put in a new wax ring-so now it leaks worse than before.

Amen.

Remember, we are less than 4 weeks into the new year. So you see, I AM Murphy, though that is not my name by birth or marriage or by the many people who are scared to ride in an elevator with me. It is a family curse. I've told the kids for years that we are being punished for some infraction of a relative in the past and like the biblical characters of old, we are being cast into the desert of woe until atonement for the transgression has been completed. So we wait patiently for the curse to be lifted and wake up every day with the mind and body on high alert.

And....the wonderful picture is of my youngest grandson. Born seven years after my daughter had her tubes tied to prevent further population growths. Sometimes Murphy's Law screws up and turns out quite amazing results, doesn't it?

Its like riding a horse.....or the wind

I've been a writer of sorts my whole life. Can focus long enough to contribute professional writing, but have yet to discipline myself for what really makes the heart happy. I first joined and posted in here back in 2007 and what a hollow time that was for me. My mother had just passed away after a long illness in which I was the primary caretaker; the last child was thrown out of the nest and I found myself alone for the first time in my adult life. With no one around sucking the life out of me anymore, I wasn't sure what to do with myself and what a depressing thought to realize that there was no driving force to even make getting up in the morning a desireable thing.

Of course, there is always the opposite sex to think about for a change, but what do you do when you have been out of the dating game for more years than you can remember? Which team is up to bat, and who hid the rules of the playing field? I recall going on a blind date with another couple and as I slid into the backseat with my 'date', he proceeded to slide his hand up my skirt at the same time. While removing the offensive appendage, I advised him that I know I hadn't been out for some time, but I was pretty sure you didn't screw on the first date, let alone before getting out of the driveway.

I've learned that the rules have indeed changed with the internet and it has become very easy to be erased from someone's life with the mere poking of a delete button. People have lost their manners and if you display any at all, you'll acquire a stalker for life. It was difficult to not answer every e-mail on the dating sites because I felt that if someone took the time to send me a note, protocol dictated that I responded in turn. Even if it was to just politely decline an offer to watch them perform on themselves via webcam. "Let's do this again." with the on-line blind dates really meant, 'Fat chance, Sister' because I became invisible as soon as I hit the parking lot. Took me a long time to realize that the on-line sites were full of lemmings and I was just one more dummy falling off into thin air.

Then one day I woke up, shook off the cobwebs and said, what in the world do you really want to do before you die? Where is your bucket list that was never allowed before now? I had been waiting for a man, or anyone for that matter, to take me to all these places I had wanted to see, do, experience and suddenly realized that might never happen. Driving up to Atlanta to visit the art museum for the first time was a very traumatic event for me. I've never been afraid in the physical sense the way other women are because I can take care of myself very well, but it was the aloneness, the social protocols that scared the hell out of me. I spent hours just trying to figure out what to wear. But.......what a marvelous adventure!

So in a few short years, I have completed one bucket list and am working on the second one. Most of the events sans companionship, but you know what? I sort of like being an adult now. When I hit 50, it was off to the airport to go skydiving. I've been whitewater rafting, backpacking out in the wilderness, and riding the waves of adventure whenever the opportunity arises. I dress up and go to the symphony, ballet, opera or theater. It was a task, but I take care of my own pool, yard and watch out because this little woman has learned how to use a chain saw without cutting off her leg in the process.

Can't say that this is like falling off a horse and getting back on because I've never ridden this particular horse before. But don't you know I'm riding it until we are both forced out to into the pasture. I figure that will be sometime around 90...